I go back and forth on whether I have a drinking problem. I tend to think that I do but then I will go months and months without even thinking about drinking because it is difficult to read and game while drinking (which begs the question -- is playing a WoW character while under the influence wrong?).
So suddenly here it was 11:00 AM and I want a drink. I seriously contemplated whether I wanted it and decided that indeed I did/do. Made a drink knowing that my tolerance is now minimal and that having that drink means a couple of things:
1. Will end my functionality for the day. Since I already applied for 2 serious jobs as well as a making the decision to go back to school I decided that this is okay.
2. Will not end with one drink. Because that's the way I'm built and is why I believe I have a drinking problem.
Regardless, I started drinking at 11:00. I sent a text to Ed letting him know that I was drinking in the middle of the day and would probably be asleep by the time he gets home. He called me back immediately (not being a text kind of guy) and we discussed whether this was a good choice. His only complaint was that I was drinking without him.
After completing my second drink I feel like writing. I guess it's better than driving drunk but what if I regret what I write? Then I realize that it matters not one iota whether I write drunk or not; I am a plebeian writer at best so it's not as if scholars in later years are going to study my body of work and be repelled to my drunken stuff versus my sober stuff.
This thought frees me but also relaxes me to the point that I now would just like to take a nap.